I am here to tell you that I will be your man. Any other man, he cannot do the things Blanston can.   I will purchase the finest scented oils from the remotest reaches of the East Orient, mix them in a special blend of my own devising, and then gently rub the exquisite balm into your soft, yielding flesh.   If you are hungry, I will procure for you the finest sampling of fresh, tender fruits and vegetables. Whatever you crave, I will provide. There will also be cheese.